Ashes To Ashes

I'm sure I've used that title before, but I don't really care.

It's been a while, hey? A few months, actually. I don't think I've ever gone that long without posting on here. Again, I don't really care. I'm trying not to worry about too much these days, and I'm also working on giving less of my energy to things I don't want to do. I guess I just haven't felt like sharing on here, and I'm glad that I honoured that.

In other news, I spilled Beans' ashes last night and felt weird about it. I was wearing my urn necklace, and was in the middle of cleaning and organizing some shit, and it just dropped off of my neck, opened up and spilled on the carpet. I yelled, "OH NO...BEANS!" I felt really bad about it. But it actually doesn't matter. First of all, I have more ashes, and second...oh well.

I am about to vacuum, though, and that part feels extra weird. Just about to vacuum up my cat. No biggie. But last night I started wigging out about it a bit. I was holding fragments of ash and rubbing them between my fingers and considering that one day I'll be reduced to ash. I was also very high.

While cleaning and organizing, I came across some relics. Mostly photos and sports memorabilia. 

Omg, look how cute I was! I look so different now. But it's cool. I'm in my forties. Nobody panic.

I think I was about 20 or so in the top two pics, and maybe 7 or so in the one below. Getting my makeup done for The Nutcracker Ballet. Those were the days. I wish someone would do my makeup now. Like, every day. I get kind of sad looking at that pic of me and my niece because I have no idea where she is or how she's doing now. Hopefully somewhere nice, doing something she loves, that's not illegal. That dude is my old neighbour who I used to make out with. I was maybe 16 and he was...I shudder to think. Twenties for sure. Ewwwww. I find it interesting that I kept this photo for so long. I must have really had a thing for him. In fact, I just remembered that he was in a band and I had his cd. I might still have it somewhere. God, I probably do. What a weenie.

I also found an old writing assignment from university. It's actually really good and I'm not surprised I got an A+ on it. I'd like to experiment with writing fiction more. That's all I used to write, and now I almost never do. Funny how things change.

Speaking of, it's officially summer here now and we're already in the middle of a heatwave. Maybe I'll turn to ash sooner than I thought. I'm really not good at handling heat. I felt a panic attack coming on yesterday while perusing the market. It was like 30 degrees, though. I held it together but, man, am I excited for Fall. Even reading on the front steps felt like a task today. Between the heat and the jumping spider that kept leaping onto my book, I didn't last long. But, you know what? I am going to soak up some sunshine and enjoy this season. On another day, when the temps aren't so high.

Aside from focusing on my online vintage shop, which I'll be posting about more soon, and trying to avoid combustion from the heat, I've been listening to a lot of true crime podcasts. I've been noticing something. So many murders and true crime events happen on or around my birthday. Not kidding, you guys, it's a lot. It's really weird. Just the other day, I was falling asleep listening to a crime show (I don't recommend falling asleep listening to true crime, but what can I say) and they said, "...her body was found on June 13th." Mmmhmm. Of course it was. Also, Candy Montgomery killed Betty Gore on June 13th...the Oklahoma Girl Scout Murders (Tent 8)...Ted Bundy is recaptured after his first prison escape...the list goes on. None of this matters, of course, it's just interesting to me.

And now I'll leave you with a couple more things that are interesting to me. Some gems I came across while going through one of my old trunks. I stole that Super Bowl XLIII poster from a local pub while drunk with some friends. I miss that group so much. We all took creative writing together and used to frequent the pubs for some drinks and some laughs. So many good times, and such an odd mix of people from all walks of life. I think I'm going to try and arrange a group hangout again soon. It's been years. I know some people moved away, but we'll see what we can do. Anyway, I remember that night because it was the week before the Super Bowl and almost nobody wanted us to win. I figured I deserved the poster more than anyone, so I nabbed it from the hallway outside the bathrooms. Glad I did because it brings back good memories.

I also came across this towel from the Cup Finals in '94. I can say now that it does bring back good memories, despite the crushing loss. I also found one from the 2011 Cup Finals in that trunk, but I'm not over that one yet so I don't feel like sharing. Ah, memories. 

Now I will leave you with a song from one of my faves, with a fitting title, as the Stanley Cup may just be awarded tonight! I kind of hope it goes seven games, though. I always want that when it's not my team in the playoffs (which is often the case). Makes things more exciting. For those of you who have a horse in this Cup race, I wish you the best of luck! As for me, I will pack away these memories and hope for more to celebrate next season.

​Thanks for stopping by!

​KR OUT!