It's July 31st, which means that Halloween is exactly 3 months away. Today also marks the anniversary of one of my favourite films, The Lost Boys. I'm watching it right now, I'll watch it again during the spooky season, and I'll probably watch it again around the holidays. At this point, I think I've seen The Lost Boys more than any other movie. Mannequin used to hold that record, thanks to a childhood bet, and I bet I could still recite it word-for-word. Same goes for The Lost Boys. And, of course, Stand By Me. No question about it.
Earlier today, I was chilling in the cemetery with a friend who asked if I had a favourite horror movie. For some reason, The Lost Boys didn't come to mind. Sacrilege! Hellraiser did immediately, as it should, then A Nightmare On Elm Street and Candyman, but where were the Boys? There are others worth mentioning, of course, but I lock eyes with David every night before bed, for God's sake. How dare I forget?
Well, the mind is a curious thing, and mine's been curiously cloudy lately. I've been struggling to focus on much these days, and during a time when I desperately feel the need to. Things have been a bit scary, honestly. But I continue to remind myself that I like being scared, and it helps. It helps in times like these to remember who you are, because it's all too easy to forget.
Talking about movies, music and books helps to remind me of the things I love. I think my friends are aware of this, because they continue to engage me in conversations about that stuff when I'm down. One moment I'll be in tears and the next I'll be explaining why Clive Barker is the undisputed heavyweight champion of horror. I'm so grateful for the people who really know me. I'm also incredibly grateful for nature and all creatures great and small that continue to show up and remind me of the wonder and magic that I sometimes forget.
I've been spending lots of time at the ocean, climbing the rocks and splashing my feet around in the water. I recently hung out with this amazing great blue heron, who caught two eels in front of me. These patient, skillful hunters are my favourite birds, and they've been appearing in sleeping and waking life, right on cue. Right when things feel too much, as if to say, don't forget me! Don't forget the magic.
I've also been spending as much time as possible in the backyard, relaxing and admiring the garden. In doing so, I recently met a little fuzzy fairy friend. Again, reminding me of the wonder and whimsy that sometimes speaks in tiny little voices that we would detect more often, if we would only listen.
I think that's been the greatest gift I've received during this time. A time when things have been upside down and not making much sense. A time with many questions and few answers. I'm starting to realize that I don't need them. Nothing is absolute anyway. Why not focus on making friends with dinosaur birds and fairies instead? I thought about this while lounging in the backyard, pondering how much time I have left in this place that I call home. But who knows how much time I have anywhere? Nobody knows.
I'm sure Mr. Donut didn't know he only had about a week.
Who even is Mr. Donut? Well, it appears that someone was extra curious as his body was exhumed. My friend and I both considered looking inside the box, but who knows what would transpire? Who knows what's really in there? Once you open it, it'll never be closed in your mind again. As soon as the word maggots was uttered, I knew it was a no-go. Actually, I knew before that. I want to remain in Mr. Donut's good books, whoever and whatever he is, just in case. So I gave him another burial.
Some things should stay buried and others should not.
That's why I've been occasionally getting high on the porch and listening to Rush. It's a way of unearthing my feelings without getting too heavy. I get to contemplate the complexities of life while having an awesome time. It's safe exploration. That's the beauty of Rush. I don't get that feeling from listening to anything else. I guess this is where I share a favourite song. It's a special one that I've been feeling so hard lately. I still get goosebumps reminiscing about seeing them perform this live. Fuck, I'm lucky. I hope you enjoy it.
I also hope to be back with another installment soon. I've been writing so much lately but not sharing anything. I even had two nearly-finished blog posts written in June, but what can you do? Sometimes you just want to keep things to yourself, and that's ok. I've also got some new plans in the works. New adventures, and I might even bring you along for the ride. We shall see!
Until next time...headphones in, volume up, for "Vital Signs."
I'm finally doing it--pulling my insides out and splattering them around for all to see. Here we go!