I had a dream the other night that made me laugh out loud when I woke up. I don't remember what the dream was about or most of what happened, but I do remember what made me laugh. I was a teenager in the dream, and I was meeting another teenage girl who looked really cool. She was wearing a baggy band shirt, had a piercing in her nose and eyebrow and messy blonde hair with black roots. My kinda gal. Anyway, she introduced herself by saying "I'm so-and-so, so-and-so's girlfriend"(I don't remember the names). My reply was, "I'm Kenna, I'm nobody's girlfriend."
It was so funny to me, because that's totally something I would say, back then and now. And it didn't come across as cheeky or anything either. I was just stating the facts. We continued talking about who knows what, and the dream continued to who knows where, but the takeaway for me was the authenticity. It feels good being authentic, in dreams and in waking life. I hate fakeness so much, and hate when I feel the need to be fake. It's repulsive, even in dreams. But sometimes we have to be fake in order to protect ourselves. Some people just don't deserve our authentic selves or our energy.
What does deserve our energy is the spirit of the Halloween season! I can't believe it's actually the last day of September, and I'm finally feeling like myself again. After being dizzy for roughly 7 weeks, I have found my balance, literally and figuratively. And what timing! I feel like the ghosts of Halloween's past, present and future, got together and decided to scare away all the shitty energy and hit me with a blast of ghoulish goodness. I'm currently watching The Ghoul Log: Trick 'r Treat Sam O'Lantern and I'm about to drag out some more decorations. I also made seasonal candles that I'm looking forward to testing. I tried the pumpkin chai one last night and it smells incredible. Now I really want to get some pumpkins! That's one of my favourite parts of the season. Except I tend to get overly emotional when pumpkins are left behind in those bins. I feel this way about Christmas trees, too. But that's just me and that's ok. One day, if I have the means, I will take all the leftovers and make a giant pumpkin graveyard. And a giant Christmas tree graveyard. Basically, my yard will be a mess.
Speaking of a mess, the Steelers aren't off to the greatest start. It's not an epic fail just yet as they're only 1-2 but losing to the Bengals always sucks, and this Sunday we play the Packers. It's gonna be tough, but you know what? I'm here for it. I really want to enjoy this season for all it's worth. This is likely Big Ben's last year and although that makes me emotional, I'm ok with it. Transitional times are always challenging but they are necessary. I'm loving the young talent this team has and it's gonna be fun to watch them grow. Hockey's about to get going, too. It was cool watching the Canucks play the Kraken for the first time the other night. Preseason, but still. I have a good feeling about the Canucks. But I always do. What can I say, I love my teams.
Here's a fun little comparison. Me as a teen and me now (with only slightly better eyebrows). Well, it's me earlier this year, before the Steelers last playoff game. Oof, that was a doozy. But, you know what? I was proud of them then and I still am now. I kinda feel that way about myself, actually. Things have been tough and I'm still going. Still waking, still sleeping, still dreaming. Sometimes it feels like that's all life is, but I believe that better days are ahead. I hope that's the case for all of us.
Now I will leave you with another favourite song from a favourite album and I will continue decorating and get started on my movie/music playlists for October. It's gonna be a spooky good time. It was always more fun with my dear Beans, but alas, she'll have to use her haunting skills to make an appearance once again. I look forward to it, Mean Joe Beans! Hope to see you soon!
I'm finally doing it--pulling my insides out and splattering them around for all to see. Here we go!