"And the heart attack would say..."

My friend's brother once thought that that was the lyric in the theme song for The Golden Girls. Always makes me laugh.

This morning I came to the conclusion that the objects I most desire in life are marketed to the elderly. Back pillows, circulation boosting machines, chairlifts. . .

Okay, I only want a chairlift because of that scene in Gremlins, so that doesn't really count. Anyway, my point is that I'm not feeling very youthful as of late. The lines around my eyes are telling. They're telling me that I need more sleep, or that I need to stop spending so much time in front of mirrors. 

As I type this, a heated neck pillow rests awkwardly on my shoulders, and I realize the Golden Girls appear more vivacious than I do in most photographs. 

Growing up, The Golden Girls was one of my favourite shows and, honestly, it still is. The only difference is that I feel like I can relate to them more so now than ever. Also, I think I've morphed from Blanche into Dorothy. Another off-putting Golden Girls fact: only one of them (Betty White) is still alive! 

Ageing is weird. All of my idols are dying and my current favourite athletes are all younger than me. Dwelling on that thought is particularly off-putting. I actually refer to athletes as "kids." That's when you know your age is sinking in. I'm not old, but maaaaaaaaan do I feel old sometimes. I actually find myself shaking my head at certain football players, and catch myself saying things like, "That's a dangerous play. It's not worth it, kid." 

What is happening to me?! 

At least I haven't lost my energy when it comes to sports. I still yell, throw things and threaten those around me. Only now, when my mom tells me I'm going to have a heart attack, I actually consider it.